Crazy Brittanalyst Grab-Bag: Part LX

Still working on the ol’ Ask box. Always.

1. Hey, Anon!

So I’ll answer this question here and then not post about it again because, honestly, I don’t think that it bears that much discussion for the majority of the fandom:

I wrote that last post because someone claiming to have connections to Heather Morris made a Tumblr post in which she “confirmed” a romantic relationship between Heather and Naya. Others then reblogged this post and some people went as far as to tweet Naya for details about the allegations.

While tinhatting and speculation is all in good fun, someone who claims to know HeYa circulating a story that claims to be the truth about them is another matter entirely. It is an action that could have serious consequences and isn’t something about which people should joke.

As fans, we need to respect HeYa’s privacy, all tinhatting aside.

That’s all.

Keep calm and fandom on, everybody! Thanks for writing in.

2. Hey, Anon!

Since I really don’t know anything about Faberry, I can’t really analyze that scene. I also don’t really follow any Faberry blogs, so I can’t point you to any real analyses, either. My friend Bella analyzes Faberry from time to time, but I don’t believe she’s posted anything about that particular scene yet.

Sorry I can’t be more help! My prescription-strength Brittana Goggles are so ridiculously thick that Brittana are really all I see.

Thanks for writing in!

3. Hey, Anon!

I think that, when it comes down to it, Dave and Sebastian’s sexual orientations are incidental to the fact that they slushie her. What really matters is that they’re bullies.

Sebastian slushies Santana because she challenges him and wounds his ego. Dave’s motivations for slushying Santana remain unknown—o, Frozen Dessert Locker, I barely knew thee!—but probably relate to her involvement with the glee club, one of Dave’s favorite targets for bullying.

As Dave doesn’t learn that Santana is gay until 2x18 and Sebastian either doesn’t know or doesn’t care that Santana is gay, based on the fact that he never mentions her sexual orientation while speaking to her, I honestly doubt that her sexual orientation has anything to do with either slushying incident, and my guess is that Dave and Sebastian’s sexual orientations don’t have anything to do with the incidents, either.

When it comes to interactions with gay men, Santana seems to get along with those gay men who act civil towards her and treat her with respect—i.e., Kurt and Blaine—and come into conflict with those gay men who bully her and her friends or come into confrontation with her—i.e., Dave and Sebastian—just the same as she does with persons of any other sexual orientation.

In 3x01, Santana herself says it best: when she encounters people, she doesn’t “see someone who looks a certain way or has this or that amount of chromosomes,” she just sees “someone who [she] may or may not have to destroy.”

She is an equal opportunity aggressor. Personal traits like sexual orientation don’t figure into Santana’s feelings about people; the way they treat her and how they act in relation to her and her interests does.

Thanks for writing in!

4. Hey, Anon!

My Glee Brittana playlist is pretty much just the standards, I think:

“Landslide” because that is the Brittana song. It’s perfect for them in every way. It was one of the performances that made me fall in love with them, as a couple. When Holly asked Santana for a song, it’s the one that came to her mind immediately. For this reason alone, I will always, always associate it with Brittana. It’s my most played Glee song on iTunes.

“Songbird” because that’s the other Brittana song. To be quite honest? I can only bring myself to watch “Songbird” like once every few months just because it is so damn intimate that I feel like I’ve intruded upon something sacred whenever it comes on my screen. Also, it emotionally devastates me. The purity and strength of Brittana’s love for each other just floors me every time I listen to Naya’s voice.

“Light Up the World” because I will always and forever be convinced that Santana wrote the first verse of this song about Brittany. Always.

“Cherish/Cherish” because reasons. Like, kiss feelings reasons. Also, headcanon says that Quinn picked this song especially for Brittana because they’re her best friends and she know what they’ve been through and she realized it would be perfect for them.

“Me Against the Music” because it’s my OTP getting their sexy on. HeYa sound incredible together and the performance for this song just rocks.

“Run the World (Girls)” because it gives me President Pierce and First Lady Lopez feelings. Seriously: The way Santana just stares at Brittany as she descends from the bleachers? That was one of the things that convinced me Brittana were already dating long before 3x04 aired. How can I help but love my OTP’s righteous feminism?

“Valerie” because it reminds me of their flirty dancing and gives me happy tour feelings.

No surprises on there, I don’t think. Fun question! Thanks for writing in.

5. Hey, Anon!

My brilliant colleague kairos27—the Head of the Brittana U Science Department—has discussed the possibility that Brittany might have dyslexia at length. I’ll direct you to her writings, because she explains everything far more eloquently and authoritatively than I ever could: see here and here.

Thanks for writing in!

6. Hey, Anon!

I think that Sugar loves her Auntie Quinn; it thrills her that Auntie Quinn is just as cool in 2011 as she is in Sugar’s present.

Auntie Quinn is Sugar’s “cool” aunt. She’s the one who first took Sugar to get her ears pierced at the mall when Sugar was five; when they came home, Mama flipped out and screamed at Auntie Quinn until the neighbors called and told Mama they could hear her in their sitting room. Auntie Quinn was also the one who let Sugar watch her first R rated movie; it was this really old movie called Sex in the City. They watched it while Mom and Mama were out on a date. When Sugar’s moms came home and found Sugar passed out in Auntie Quinn’s lap on the couch, Mama started muttering about “supervised visits only” while Mom carried Sugar up to bed; after that, Auntie Wheezy started coming over whenever Auntie Quinn did, which was okay, because Sugar likes Auntie Wheezy, too.