Ask a crazy Brittanalyst, get a crazy answer: Part XIV

So some lovelies Asked questions and I gave some very rambling answers.

1. Hey, Anon!

First of all, thank you so much. I’m glad you enjoy my writing.

Secondly, to answer your question, I’m actually working on another fic right now. I don’t know when I’ll post it—I’ve got papers to grade this week, plus I kind of want to wait and see how everything plays out on November 1st before I make any more creative speculations about Brittana—but I can give you a preview, if you like:

“They expect Judy Fabray, her eyes bugging and lips spread in a perfect o, shocked to see two girls—her daughter’s best friends—linked by so much more than just pinky-fingers on her front stoop.

What they get instead is Quinn Fabray and a total surprise.

Santana’s eyebrows almost make it to her hairline and Brittany’s mouth falls open, incredulous.

‘Easter egg!’ Santana blurts, unable to reel it in.

Quinn grimaces and closes the door hard in their faces without waiting for a better greeting.

‘Cotton candy,’ Brittany mutters, staring at the door.

The heavy knell of the door slam echoes down the walk. It’s only been a month since they last saw Quinn. Now they know for sure what they only suspected before: they waited too long to do this. They should have come sooner. They look at each other, feeling keenly guilty. The spent June figuring them out; Quinn was a July afterthought. They certainly hadn’t expected to find her like this.

After a small nod from Brittany, Santana knocks on the door again. It takes a second, but Quinn answers, opening the door wide and leaning impassively against the frame, propped up by one elbow. She’s all acid-washed denim and safety pins. She wears a faded black t-shirt that’s either really vintage or really pretentious and she smells of patchouli oil—Brittany called it p’tooey oil when she was little—and the musty choke of cigarette odor clinging to dry, unwashed skin.

And, holy shit, her hair.

‘Quinn,’ Santana falters. She can’t stop staring at Quinn like she’s never seen her before. There’s something just a bit too put together in Quinn’s grunge, like she cares a lot about not caring.

Leave it to Quinn Fabray to put too much effort into letting herself go.

‘What are you doing here?’ Quinn says, an edge in her voice, which seems even more stepped-on and throaty than usual. She squints against the afternoon sunlight coming in from the outside, house shadows falling over her face. Her body forms a lazy S against the doorway.

Brittany ignores Quinn’s obvious annoyance. ‘We’re here to kidnap you!’ she says brightly.

‘Yeah,’ Santana says, using a high, phony voice she usually reserves for strangers and adults. ‘We were gonna drive to Toledo and check out the campus at Bowling Green. The cheerleading squad’s putting on an exhibition, and we thought it might be good to check it out. For next year, maybe. You in?’

‘And what makes you two think I would want to tag along on your date?’ Quinn asks.”

Anyway, expect something within the next couple of weeks! Thanks for writing in. I really appreciate your kind words.

2. Hey!

Honestly, I think that Santana’s various insults concerning Finn’s “manboobs” have less to do with a preoccupation concerning Finn’s anatomy than they do with Santana’s basic tendency to go for the jugular with her vicious, vicious words when she sets out to deal verbal damage to “enemies.”

As I write elsewhere, Santana has a real gift when it comes to picking out people’s insecurities, perhaps because she herself is so thoroughly insecure. Throughout the show, we see various instances wherein Santana not only insults her social rivals or persons whom she feels have wronged either herself or Brittany, but we see her do so with an especial degree of cruelty, attacking her classmates’ “weaknesses” with carefully crafted personal barbs (e.g., Santana knows that Rachel fears that no boy will ever truly feel attracted to her and that Rachel sometimes doubts her decision to maintain her virginity, as per the glee girls’ discussion of 1x15, so when Santana wants to get revenge on Rachel for belittling her in 2x09, she does so by drawing attention to the fact that she allegedly “sexually satisfied” Finn where Rachel could and would not do so, severely damaging Rachel’s self-esteem in so saying).

While Santana generally is an equal opportunity bitch, throwing out insults freely to anyone she thinks deserves it, when she feels threatened or hurt, either because of something someone does to her or to Brittany, she tends to retaliate on a deeply personal level.

For instance, in 3x03, we see “Santana insulting the part of Kurt’s image about which he is most sensitive—i.e., his perceived effeminate nature, about which he feels self-conscious, and his fashion choices, in which he takes pride,” after he makes a dig on Brittany’s intelligence within earshot of Brittana (see here).

Indeed, “By insinuating that [Kurt’s] shirt reminds her of a nasty eye disease, Santana takes Kurt down a peg or two. By telling him that he looks like ‘Jimmy Fallon’s butch daughter,’ she verbally knocks him to the ground. Then she and Brittany proceed to lay the intellectual smackdown on Hummelberry, proving that Kurt and Rachel are wrong to assume that Brittany isn’t a threat to their campaign.”

Likewise, when Santana feels that Quinn has wronged her by “stealing” the captaincy of the Cheerios away from her, Santana not only engages Quinn in a physical brawl, but also takes a shot at Quinn for getting pregnant at sixteen, having a baby, and giving it up—a low blow, if ever there was one.

Perhaps interestingly in the Quinn situation, the Quinntana hallway brawl “constitutes a strange admixture of both physical and relational aggression… [as on] the one hand, Santana physically attacks Quinn in a crowded hallway, seemingly in order to make a public statement on Quinn usurping her position as Head Cheerio… [while on] the other hand… Santana ‘hits Quinn where it hurts,’ making verbal attacks referencing Quinn’s greatest insecurity—i.e., Quinn’s pregnancy and subsequent social downfall during Season One—perhaps due to the fact that Santana feels that Quinn betrayed her confidence and disregarded their friendship, which, of course, stings [Santana] even though Santana would never admit it” (see here).

This fits with Santana’s typical modus operandi when it comes to relational aggression: i.e., when she feels personally hurt, she lashes out with damaging words, whereas when she feels socially affronted, she lashes out with [often overblown] physical violence in a public setting, in order to prove a point and assert her social dominance against her foe.

Which brings us to Santana versus Finnocence.

After their disappointing depressing sexual encounter in 1x15, Santana seems to add Finn to her list of enemies, being that she feels hurt by her traumatic experience with him (see here) and stung because Finn essentially rejects her on both a sexual and emotional level (“I don’t feel anything because it didn’t mean anything”), reinforcing Santana’s deep-seated fears that she is inherently undesirable, abnormal, unlovable, inferior to other girls, etc., as he does so.

It seems to me that Santana feels not only ashamed of her failure to “keep” Finn after she beds him, but also personally wounded due to the overarching implications of their “failed relationship.”

Remember, Brittany promised Santana that if Santana took Finn’s virginity, Finn would follow her forever, pining after her, and that certainly didn’t happen; accordingly, Santana must suppose that something “went wrong,” or, rather, that there’s something perhaps wrong with her—like maybe her sexuality, for instance.

As the lovely Eli points out here:

“I’m wildly guessworking here, but I think that [Santana] might be attracted to what Finn represents. To her, [Finn is] just this very tall dumb guy, but he’s considered the ideal man both by Quinn, the perfect heterosexual cheerleader, and by Rachel, the girl who’s not afraid to wear her heart on her sleeve. The two girls Santana secretly envies the most both consider Finn some sort of dreamy Prince Charming, so why shouldn’t it work the same way for her? Maybe she was [subconsciously] hoping for Finn to sweep her off her feet, to turn her straight with his fairy tale magic, to cure her loneliness with the power of his love? Of course it doesn’t work that way, and Finn ends up calling her a slut both times [they are together]. It’s tragic, but Santana still fails to realize that no one—[and] especially NOT Finn Hudson—will ever be able to see beyond her bitchy façade, not until she’ll have the balls to show the others ‘all the awesomness’ that she is.”

So, basically, after 1x15, Santana acts like a girl with something to hide when it comes to Finn, alternately trying to get him under her thumb, as we see in 2x08, and to hurt him just like he hurt her, as we see in 2x12 and 2x18.

Cue Santana’s insults about Finn’s “manboobs” and “puffy pyramid nipples.”

Finn Hudson doesn’t feel insecure about too much in life, come Season Two. He’s the quarterback who alternates between dating the most popular girl in school and Rachel Berry, who functions as nothing if not a walking, talking ego boost to him. For the first time in his high school career, both Finn’s football team and his glee club have winning records. Most people at school, with the exception of perhaps Karofsky and Azimio, seem to like Finn, including Mr. Schue, who gives Finn plenty of solos and praise. After the confusion of last year, Finn finally feels comfortable with his home life, once his mother marries Burt Hummel, and free from the burden that was Babygate. All in all, things are pretty good for him.

This is not to say Finn enjoys a perfect life, of course. Rather, it is simply to point out that Finn feels probably feels pretty good about himself at the points when Santana insults him.

After all, he’s “gotta be [him],” you know.

One thing he does feel insecure about, though, is his body.

And Santana Lopez knows this, not only because Finn fucking kept his shirt on while he and Santana had sex back in Season One, but also because of the whole “Rocky Horror” debacle, which culminated with Finn walking down the halls of McKinley in his boxer shorts in order to get comfortable with his physique.

So when Santana needs to hit Finn where it hurts? That’s where she goes.

In episode 2x12, Santana directs a jab at Finn’s “manboobs,” not only because his braggadocio attitude annoys her—Santana really hates in when people try to elevate themselves over both her and the group or put on airs—but also because she’s bitter that she’s alone and unloved on Valentine’s Day (see here). Tack that underlying annoyance and hurt onto the fact that Santana still hasn’t gotten proper “revenge” against Finn for spurning her in 2x08 and 2x09, outside of just breaking up Finchel, et voilà!

“I would, however, pay a hundred dollars to jiggle one of his manboobs.”

Same goes for 2x18.

Santana feels unsettled, threatened, and annoyed by her current situation—i.e., being without Brittany, a pariah on the outskirts of her peer group, a closeted lesbian in a hostile school environment, etc.—so she goes on the warpath, pointing out her teammates’ various deficiencies and insecurities in order to draw attention away from the insufficiency she perceives in herself. And then Finn makes the grand mistake of putting his bad dancing on par with the weaknesses Santana’s pointed out in everyone else, essentially begging for her to correct him, as far as Santana sees things.

As Finn is such a visible symbol of Santana’s own insecurity—i.e., he is the boy that she “should” be in love with, by all counts, but isn’t because she was “born this way”—Santana feels obliged to tear him down.

And so: “Oh, please! You have weird, puffy pyramid nipples; they look like they’re filled with custard. You could dust them with powdered sugar and they could pass for some sort of dessert.”

It is perhaps telling that Santana’s insults against Finn always go back to something she learned about him while they were in bed together, when he was at his most vulnerable, as this speaks to the source of her grievance with him in the first place—i.e., that she feels just as vulnerable and insecure about their failed sexual encounter as he does, if not more so.

In any case, suffice it to say, then, that I think Santana custom crafts her insults about Finn’s nipples especially for him. Accordingly, I don’t think they indicate any sort of perseveration on that particular anatomy on her part, but rather that her repeated references to Finn’s chest speak to her tendency to attack those who hurt her using tactics she knows will hurt them in turn.

I would therefore argue that Santana frequently makes sexual references while insulting rivals largely because many people feel insecure about sex—including not only Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray, but also Santana Lopez herself.

Anyway, I’m rambling now. Thanks for writing in!

3. Hey, Anon!

Honestly, the question you pose is a tricky one, being that, at least for one more week, we really know next to nothing about Brittana’s home lives.

Frankly, though we know that Brittana spend time in one another’s homes, as per the bedroom scenes of 2x04 and 2x15, we don’t know to what extent they involve themselves in one another’s family interactions or how well they know each other’s parents.

While fanon prefers to imagine them as childhood friends, we really have no idea if this is the case. Accordingly, we can’t say how well Brittany knows Santana’s parents or if Brittany has all the information necessary to properly gauge Santana’s parents’ probable reaction to Santana coming out before it happens.

Moreover, since we don’t know anything about Santana’s parents ourselves, we cannot determine whether Santana has cause to fear their reaction to her homosexuality or not.

All we really can say is this, then:

In the past, Brittany has expressed surprise that Santana would want to hide “any of [her awesomeness],” while encouraging Santana to “embrace all the awesomeness that [she is].” While many fans take this to mean that Brittany would like Santana to completely come out of the closet, we don’t actually know the true scope of Brittany’s comment (i.e., to what extent Brittany expects Santana to come out of the closet or exactly to whom).

It is possible that Brittany meant that Santana shouldn’t hide any of her awesomeness—which we can presume includes her sexuality—under any circumstances, no matter where she is, whether at school, home, the mall, BreadStiX, etc.

However, it is also possible that Brittany intended to make a localized comment—i.e., that Santana shouldn’t try to hide her awesomeness at school, being that Brittana were at school in both of the situations in question—and particularly since Brittany’s full statement refers to Santana being the “awesomest girl at this school.”

Obviously, one would like to think that Brittany wouldn’t advise Santana to come out at home if she knew that Santana’s parents might not react favorably to learning that their daughter is gay.

Accordingly, our questions then become

1. “How much does Brittany know about Santana’s parents?”

2. “Does Brittany have reason to believe that Santana’s parents will react unfavorably towards Santana coming out?”

and

3. “Does Brittany have the correct perspective when it comes to how the Lopez family views homosexuality in comparison to her own family?”

Fanon loves to answer these questions, even though we have very little canon evidence in support of our speculations.

We know, for instance, that Brittany spends time in Santana’s house, as per the bedroom scene of 2x15, so it would make sense that Brittany has probably met Santana’s parents—though maybe not, depending on how RIB choose to characterize Brittana’s relationship in future episodes.

Nevertheless, the simple act of meeting someone, even on multiple occasions, does not guarantee that you will become acquainted with that person well enough to actually “know” them, so even if we assume that Santana has introduced Brittany to her mom and dad, we still can’t say for certain that Brittany actually “knows” them on a personal level.

Of course, fanon loves to imagine that Brittana have been friends since childhood and that they spend a considerable amount of time interacting with one another’s families and in one another’s homes, but, as of yet, we don’t know if this is actually the case within the show universe.

Accordingly, it is impossible for us to say at this point whether Brittany actually has any sort of relationship with Santana’s parents, much less if she “knows them” well enough to anticipate their probable behavior in a given situation. 

Likewise, fanon tends to advocate for a model wherein Santana’s parents are aloof at best and—more often—neglectful, whereas Brittany’s parents are accepting and affectionate, though ultimately permissive.

While the girls’ respective personalities on the show certainly suggest that this could well be the case, at this point, we don’t know. Accordingly, it’s hard to say whether Santana has reason to fear her parents’ reaction to her sexuality, as we don’t know their personalities, cultural and religious background, parenting styles, sexual attitudes, politics, etc.

Frankly, we don’t know what sort of relationship Santana has with her parents, just as we don’t know what sort of relationship Brittany has with either her own parents or Santana’s parents. Consequently, we cannot even say for certain that Santana knows her parents well enough to properly anticipate their reactions to learning that she’s gay; she may well misjudge them or have no idea what to expect from them. At this point, we can’t say.

Finally, some fanon imagines that Brittany may have a skewed perspective on how the Lopez family will react to Santana coming out, being that Brittany may come from a more liberal home than Santana does and therefore might “not understand” why Santana’s parents would possibly reject her for being gay.

Personally, I dislike this model, as it veers into the neighborhood of “stupid” or “naïve” Brittany, and I like to give her more credit than that, particularly when it comes to reading people. All the same, I will concede that it is possible that RIB could go this route with her on the show. As it is, we don’t really know. At this point, it is just as likely that Brittany has a good read on Santana’s family as it is that she doesn’t.

So.

Basically, all of this is to say that we don’t know: We don’t know if Brittany expects Santana to come out to her parents. We don’t know if Santana is even afraid of how her parents will react to her homosexuality. We don’t know if Santana has a reason to be afraid if she is afraid. We don’t know how Santana’s parents will react to her coming out. We don’t know how different their reaction to Brittana’s relationship will be from that of Brittany’s parents.

The one thing I will say for certain is that Brittany thinks that what she has with Santana is a forever kind of thing, regardless. She loves Santana more than anything else in this world, and, because of that, anything is possible.

Brittany will always love Santana, no matter what happens to Santana at home.

Anyway, spoilers suggest that RIB are looking to cast an attractive Latina (see here), perhaps for the purpose of playing someone in Santana’s family, so it’s possible we’ll get canon answers to our questions soon, Anon.

Thanks for writing in!

4. Brittany for President, Anon. Totally.